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Should I communicate with my ex during a divorce?

Divorce is a process; for some, it is a lengthy process. And during that time, other aspects of life continue normally. Kids still go to school; mortgages still need to be paid; our health and well-being still require attention.

For many divorcing spouses, this means that there will still be a need to communicate about things related to – and not related to – a divorce. To keep these occurrences from creating more problems, consider the following tips.

Keep exchanges brief

It does not take much to cause conflict during a divorce. A seemingly innocent comment or even a particular look on someone’s face can trigger a fight during a conversation. To minimize these opportunities, keep your exchanges as short as possible.

For instance, you might restrict conversations to just one topic or a specific length of time. 

Keeping conversations brief reduces the chances that someone will do or say something offensive. It also makes it easier to keep your composure and stay respectful when you only need to do so for a few minutes.

Put everything in writing

If you talk about parenting duties, changes to a schedule or financial issues, put the information in writing. You might use apps, a notebook or other communication tools to keep these records. Having things in writing allows you to refer back to what you both said. 

If you talk in person, you can make a record of it by jotting down notes, which you can then send to the other person to confirm the details.

Other written records that can be valuable during divorce include police reports, social media comments and witness statements from altercations.

Refrain from discussing the legal process

Talking about the legal process without your lawyers, and in an informal setting, can spell disaster if those conversations derail negotiations or your position in court. 

While it can seem impossible to refrain from talking about the details of a divorce with the person you are divorcing, doing so can be critical. Instead, you can refer any offers, questions or concerns from your ex to your lawyer.

Communicating with an ex during divorce can be unavoidable. To protect yourself, you can utilize these tips to make these exchanges as peaceful as possible.

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