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Keeping a clear head when a divorce goes off the rails

A divorce can make you feel out of control. If you feel that the situation is becoming unmanageable, know there are some things you can do to get back on track and in control.

Talk to your lawyer

The divorce process can feel incredibly overwhelming and confusing, especially when you have never been through it before. However, your lawyer can be a great source of information and guidance, which can be immensely reassuring when you feel like things are spiraling out of control.

Your lawyer can help you in many ways, from connecting you with valuable resources to taking specific tasks off your plate, making it easier to focus on yourself and your needs.

Explore healthy outlets

As this article notes, participating in healthy outlets can help alleviate stress and improve mental health. Some ways to do this include:

  • Exercising
  • Pampering yourself
  • Doing fun things with your friends, family, and kids
  • Recognizing and respecting your emotions
  • Making time to relax, breathe, and decompress

These activities may not eliminate the challenges of a divorce, but they can help you feel calmer and more in touch with your well-being. Under these conditions, you can have an easier time keeping a level head.

Make decisions yourself

There are some elements of a divorce that are not under your control, but there is plenty that you can still do to take charge in a healthy manner. 

One primary way of doing this is by mediating your divorce. With the assistance of a trained mediator, you and your ex are helped to make your own decisions rather than leaving decisions up to strangers. Not only is this approach less combative, but it is more likely to result in mutually agreeable resolutions.

Avoid destructive behaviours

When people are feeling lost in their thoughts and the legal system, they might do some strange things to regain control. Whatever these turn out to be for you, ensure they are not destructive. Some behaviors that can leave you feeling worse include:

  • Spying on or harassing your ex
  • Micromanaging your kids
  • Putting unfair, unnecessarily rigid rules on yourself
  • Abusing drugs or alcohol
  • Gambling

If you can steer clear of these, you could find you come out of this process happier and healthier.

Feeling out of control during a divorce is not unusual. That said, it can still be highly uncomfortable and frightening. These tips can help you manage the seemingly unmanageable aspects of this process.

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